11/4/95

Happy Birthday Dad.

11/2/95

In the second hour of Pron. This class is generally pretty beat, and I'm not really in the mood. Not feeling too hot.

Some people from the Colombo are meeting Alex and I at the show. Hugo is already there saving us seats. That's pretty cool of him. Carolina is going with a friend of hers, too. She's so damned sweet, if it rained, she'd melt. No lie.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. I really hope they play "In and Out of Love" tonight. That was one rockin' song.

11/1/95

More in a while, my ass -- try a month and 1/2 later. Makes me mad when I think about it. Almost every day I've had shit to write about, but never did. Blame it on laziness. That really pisses me off.

So much has happened to me, I do n't even know where to begin. First, there's Alex. We wound up together just about a month ago or so. It's weird how it happened, actually. After giving each other little notes and shit, I guess certain feelings started to bubble. It was decided that we needed to talk, and we went to lunch. At lunch, we both revealed that we were interested -- but wait, she's supposed to get married to her boyfriend of 8 1/2 years in December. She asks what I'm hoping from her. Hell, what could I hope for? Nothing. Right?

Wrong. We went out that afternoon. Just bullshit, actually. She had to buy a present, and asked me to tag along. Well, we went for a beer, afterward, one thing led to another, and the inevitable kiss happened.

Awesome.

But wait, she's getting married. Well, this kind of thing goes on all week ... And the next .. And she tells her b/f that she doesn't wanna get married. Wow.

Now, I'm not thinking that she did this for me. She had said that she had been feeling that way for awhile. Her family doesn't sound too thrilled. The guy ain't, either.

So things are going pretty well with us. I really dig her. It's funny how things can be fun with her.

Then, on Monday (10/30), I almost get busted for having pot on me. Not good. Colombian cops are not the coolest, I can tell you. The worst thing is, Alex was with me, and they nabbed her too. She didn't even know I had it. I felt so shitty, it's not even funny. About an hour (which seemed like twelve lifetimes) and 35,000 pesos later (approx 40$USD), they let us go. Not a fun experience. They were talking about keeping us for 24 hours and everything. That would've been bad. Real bad.

But not as bad as it was with Alex after. She was mad. She was upset. It was so hard. Said something to me I will never forget. "I thought you didn't need that to be with me." She was almost crying. I felt horrible. What could I do? She was right. I totally let her down. That was a hard night. She didn't sleep much, she said. I know I ddidn't. We talked alot, and things are better now. I still feel real bad about it, though. I don't think I'll be over that for awhile. She told me that she thought VERY seriously about getting rid fo me. I'm such an asshole sometimes, it shocks even me.

We're going to see Bon Jovi tomorrow. That'll be wild. Bon Jovi in Bogota. I remmber seeing them on my 14th birthday opening for Ratt. If I knew then what I know now. I hope they play songs from that show. Although that wasn't the best time in my life, that show made me feel real good. Good memory. My 2nd concert ever. I think I'll probably have a good time. Maybe it'll be my 14th birthday again.

Funny what happens in 10 years.

As for NItza, things change. They did for me, at least. It's kind of sad, but what can I do? Kind of hard to lie to yourself. It's different now. This means that I'll be home after May. Again, funny how plans change. Who knows when I'll go back to live in the States? Going back to visit in December, though. I'll be glad to see my friends. Mark P., Sameh, Tara, Carolyn ... these are probably the people I think about the most.

Gators are ranked #3 -- is this The Year? I sure hope so. I'd probably cry.

Alex said something else on Monday. She was mad, I was trying to talk to her, and she said, "Don't speak to me in Spanish. Only in English."

That hurt. What the hell am I supposed to do? She told me today that she was talking about that night and to forgive her. I can't stay mad forever -- well, actually, I'm not mad. But it hurt. That kind of sticks in the back of my mind.

Told her yesterday about Grandy, about Edith, and about what happened when Butch died. All of what Mom said to me the day before. "Would you feel bad if he died tomorrow?"

"Yes, of course."

"I don't think so." and she left.

He died the next afternoon. I remember how hard that tim was. Horrible. It's still kinda hard actually. I even almost started to cry telling Alex about it. She gave me a hug. It was nice. Nice I could tell her.