July 22, 1996

Sitting in my conversation building class. This is a good group. Good class. Not too into it today, though. It's all I can do to not think of Haz. And in this class, I don't really have to teach. So, my mind wanders.

I keep imagining her on the bathroom floor. Who did this? Why? What happened?! I simply can't understand this. Alex just said, "I still don't believe it." Me either. The viewing is today. I'll have no choice then. I don't know how I'm going to handle this at all. I can still feel her hand from the last time I saw her. Which hand? For some reason it's real important to me now. Why aren't they important then? Human nature, I guess. Humans suck. If only we were more aware of things when they truly are important.

Alex says that they have two girls at the Fiscalia since yesterday. I guess they were with her. What does that mean? Alex says one of them supposedly watched her kill herself in the bathroom. But, they found no gun. WHAT HAPPENED?! That makes suicide pretty improbable. This whole thing seems so impossible. I actually slapped myself last night, trying to wake up from this nightmare.

Bell rang.

UPDATE: Alex is telling me those girls are suspects. They haven't been home since it happened. I want to torture whoever did this. For Haz. For Alex. For me. It jus getrs weirder. What's the REAL story?